Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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