I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
