Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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