win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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