I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is wine microwaveable?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
