Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
