hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
