If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize