they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
