You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
