I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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