He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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