I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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