forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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