What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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