I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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