guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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