If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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