i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
