True but thats because hes a fetus.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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