Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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