i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
