bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
