I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
