a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
