some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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