Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
