took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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