You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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