if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
is that a dick in a sweater?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
