Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize