After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
