WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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