Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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