I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
