SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
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We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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