I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
