Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
