Kiss
Puke
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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