2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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