Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
