what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize