I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
