I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
