I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
