He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
