Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i think im in europe. pls send help
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
