i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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