I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
