And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
