I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Terrible idea I love it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
