but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
