I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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