He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
