I just threw up on my dentist
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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