Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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