he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize