Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
