just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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