You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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