The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize